I used to call it “the black hole”.
Because nothing I put into it ever seem to make it go away. No amount of positive affirmations, delicious food, fun activities and expensive accessories could ever make “it” stop.
Sometimes, it lasts for a few minutes. Other times, it could go on for days. It comes up unknowingly and silently; In the middle of an important meeting or while having a lovely dinner with family.
It’s an inner void, a deep sense of emptiness, where you feel everything and nothing all at the same time. It’s debilitating and exhausting. There’s a war inside you and the fighting never ends. You constantly beat yourself up. You start to feel shame and guilt. You don’t tell anyone. How can you explain what you don’t understand? You feel scared. You hide the pain. You keep it all inside. You smile. You go on with the day. You become a time bomb ready to go off at any time.
I think at some point, all of us go through it. We have to. We’re human beings. We’ll have bad days. Terrible days where you just can’t seem to function completely. Every little thing irritates you. You feel so consumed and emotionally drained. That’s why its important to be aware of it and acknowledge it. Never ignore it. Don’t run away from it. Know when it is becoming too much and act on it. Treat the wound before it becomes more infected.
Some people rely on pills, go to parties and resort to other forms of addiction to distract themselves. But instead of going out, I want you to go within.
Go inside yourself. Take the time to really ask yourself these questions: Why am I feeling this? Where does it come from? What memories are associated with it? Is this pain real or am I just magnifying something that isn’t really there?
Seek wisdom. Seek healing. Seek help.
You might have to read a book about it here and there. You might need to start experimenting with different types of meditations and yoga sessions. You might have to watch all of Jay Shetty‘s videos or follow Sadhguru. You might even need to attend the Feast Worship or subscribe to Saddleback Church. You might have to listen to the SuperSoul podcast every night or start your mornings with a simple prayer. My point is, you need to act on it. Be kind to yourself. Most especially on the days when you don’t feel like it. Believe that there is a purpose behind the pain. Make a conscious decision everyday to be the best that you can be. To love yourself unconditionally. To know that you are enough. And that you are never alone. This is your journey and through this you will discover your path to peace. And more importantly, the path to your authentic self. Your true strength.
Find meaning. Look for purpose. Serve, explore, learn, let go of what doesn’t serve you and keep what resonates with your soul.
Don’t allow your thoughts to define you. You are not your mind. You are the awareness. You are the consciousness.
You are the sky and your thoughts and feelings are nothing but clouds.
Allow them to pass. Don’t cling to them. Simply embrace them; because if you can embrace them, it means you can also let them go.
It’s okay to feel sad. It’s okay to feel lonely.
It’s okay to be happy.
It’s okay to feel too much.
You will be okay.
P.S. May is the month of Mental Health Awareness. Share this to people you know who needs to read it.